Shave it again

I have been shaving my head about once a week now. When I say “I have been shaving” what I really mean is Diana has been shaving my head about once a week now. All that changed on Thursday and I want to say a big thank you for that change.

Having someone else shave my head made the whole thing feel less real. It wasn’t till I was the one holding the clippers in the hand that the reality of everything started to once again sink in. I had been putting it off for a few days but there they were waiting for me, and I was starting to get headaches for my hair lying weird against the wig all day. It was time…

There is nothing like hearing the buzzing of the two blades running past each other, the weight of the clippers in your hard and the subtle vibration of the motor, the soft smell of oil to make all of your senses aware of what you are about to do. After the last cascading hair settled I realized that I had stopped breathing the moment I turned on the clippers and started to shave my head.

I did an okay job and Diana helped me with a few spots that I missed in the back. But what she helped me with the most was something that I did not know I needed; a sense of control over the situation. I am aware that I made the choice in the first place, however every day I learn something new about what that choice really means.

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